Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 9: The Nut and the Slut (in which a friendship is born)
by Eric Kraft
Inflating a Dog on Film

The screen rights are available.
E-mail Alec ďNickĒ Rafter.

EXT. A STREET IN BABBINGTON. On the way to Peterís house, Peter and Patti stop to look at themselves in a shop window.  Peter looks Patti up and down and suddenly realizes that heís bringing the presumed town slut home to meet his mother.
PATTI
(to Peterís reflection)
Hey, whatís that look youíre giving me?
PETER
Itís .†.†. my mother .†.†. look .†.†.
PATTI
You think I look like your mother?
PETER
No!  I .†.†.
PATTI
You donít want me to meet her, do you?
PETER
What?  What makes you think .†.†.
PATTI
You donít want your mother to meet me.
(eyes down, pouting)
I know what they say about me. .†.†.
(a tear in her eye)
ďSheís not the kind of girl youíd take home to meet your mother.Ē
(raising her head high) 
But Iím not the kind of girl you wouldnít take home to meet your mother.
They inspect her reflection again.
PATTI
(softly)
Am I?
PETER
Come on.  Iím taking you home to meet my mother.
He takes her hand, and they go on.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE LEROY HOUSE. A FEW MINUTES LATER. Peter starts up the back steps, then turns to see Patti hanging back, looking shy.
PETER
Whatís the matter?
PATTI
Just .†.†. make sure itís okay.
PETER
Okay.
CUT TO:
INT. THE LEROY KITCHEN AND DINING ROOM. Peter lets himself into the kitchen and discovers Ella sitting at the dining room table, bent over some papers.  Ella hears him close the door, looks up and calls out to him.
ELLA
Peter!  Youíre finally home!  Come here!  Iíve had a wonderful idea!
PETER
I .†.†. uh .†.†. brought somebody with me .†.†. from school. 
ELLA
Really?  Who is it?
PETER
Itís a girl named Patti.
ELLA
Patti?  Patti?
(her eyes widen)
Patti Fiorenza?
PETER
Um, yes.
ELLA
Wow.  Where is she?
PETER
Waiting outside.
ELLA
Well, donít leave her standing there.  Sheíll think weíre talking about her.
PETER
We are talking about her.
ELLA
Go let her in!
Peter opens the door.  Patti is waiting there, looking wary.
PATTI
You were talking about me, werenít you?
PETER
No .†.†. we .†.†. my mother had one of her ideas, and .†.†. I should warn you about these ideas .†.†.
PATTI
Do you think I should go home?
PETER
No.  Of course not, but .†.†.
From over his shoulder comes Ellaís voice, calling out:
ELLA
Patti Fiorenza!  Come in!  Come in!
Peter steps aside, and Patti enters.  Ella is holding both hands out toward her, and Patti grasps them. 
ELLA (CONTíD.)
Sit down! 
They all sit.  Ella looks Patti over, looking for clues.
ELLA
(with something like awe)
Iíve heard so much about you!
PATTI
Itís not true .†.†. honest.
ELLA
It couldnít be. .†.†. Not all of it.
PATTI
Everybody thinks Iím a slut .†.†.
ELLA
(waving her cigarette)
And everybody thinks Iím a nut .†.†.
They burst out laughing, like schoolgirls.
ELLA
(pushing her hair askew)
I think it was the candy that did it.  The lace candy.  That convinced them.  Sheís nuts.  Nutty as a fruitcake.
PATTI
My mom bought some.
ELLA
I remember that.
PATTI
(thoughtfully, pouting)
For me, it was that famous blow job.  Dennis Jarvis!  He told half the town that I gave him a blow job behind Stillmanís Delicatessen.
ELLA
But you didnít?
Peter wonders how his mother could know what a blow job is.
PATTI
(chewing her gum, winking)
Only in his dreams.
She and Ella burst out laughing again.
This conversation is making Peter very uncomfortable. 
PETER
(to change the subject, taking one of the papers)
Whatís this?
Ella and Patti look at each other, clear their throats, giggle a bit, and try to pull themselves together.
INFLATING A DOG SCREENPLAY | CONTENTS | CHAPTER 10

Candi Lee Manning and Alec "Nick" RafterHere are a couple of swell ideas from Eric Kraft's vivacious publicist, Candi Lee Manning.
 

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Copyright © 2001 by Eric Kraft
Registered with the Writers Guild of America East in 2001 

The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the authorís imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author. 

The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesnít particularly resemble Peter Leroyóexcept, perhaps, for the smile.

 
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