Inflating a Dog Screenplay, Chapter 20

Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 20: Whack It (in which Mr. Lodkochnikov lends a hand)

The screen rights are available.
E-mail Alec “Nick” Rafter.

INT. PETER’S BEDROOM. Peter is dressing in a captain’s whites, a costume that Ella has improvised.

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INT. THE LIVING ROOM. Ella, wearing a raincoat, sweeps into the room. Bert is sitting in his chair drinking a beer and watching television. Peter, also wearing a raincoat, hurries down the stairs and joins her.

ELLA

We’re off, Bert. Wish us luck.

BERT
(hardly looking, grunting)
Yeah. Good luck.

They hurry off.

BERT (CONT’D.)
(after they’ve left)
Is it raining?

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EXT. PATTI’S HOUSE. When Ella pulls up, Patti, also wearing a raincoat, runs to the car and slides in beside Peter, breathless with anticipation. Ella drives off.

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EXT. THE DOCK. They board Arcinella. Patti and Ella shed their raincoats. They are dazzling in slinky white satin gowns. They get to work abovedecks.
Peter goes into the wheelhouse. He presses the starter button. From the engine room, we hear a dull metallic click, nothing more.
He presses the button again. Another click.

PETER
(to himself)
Third time’s the charm.

He presses the button again. Not even a click.
He goes below, looks at the engine, wiggles its wires.
He goes back to the wheelhouse. He presses the starter button, and nothing happens, nothing at all.
Panic is setting in. He hurries below.
He squats there, staring at Arcinella’s engine.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(from the quayside)
Evening, ladies. Don’t you look nice.

ELLA
(coyly, playing a belle)
Why, thank you, sir.

Peter looks through a porthole and sees Mr. Lodkochnikov.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Where’s young Peter?

ELLA

Below, getting ready for our shakedown cruise.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

I haven’t been aboard Arcinella for a very long time. Do you suppose I might have permission?

ELLA
(a little awkwardly)
Oh . . . why, of course.

Mr. Lodkochnikov lumbers aboard.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(appreciately, taking in the fresh paint and the slinky gowns)
Very nice . . . very, very nice.

Patti giggles.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV (CONT’D.)

Mind if I take a gander at the old gal’s innards?

ELLA

Not at all. And tell Peter to hurry up. The sun’s starting to set.

Mr. Lodkochnikov makes his way until he is beside Peter.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(in a whisper)
Want some help?

PETER
(with a sigh of relief)
Yeah. . . . Thanks.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(matter-of-factly)
I’d say that . . . the pinion gear on your starter motor is not engaging the rack on the flywheel.

PETER
(as if he knows)
Of course! . . . Anything we can do?

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Oh, sure.

A moment passes; Mr. Lodkochnikov says nothing.

PETER

What?

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Well, Mac used to whack her with a hatchet. Didn’t he leave the hatchet?

PETER

The hatchet? Yeah. He left a hatchet.

He rummages arund and comes up with a rusty old hatchet.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

You give a couple of whacks on the starter motor . . . not too hard . . . but enough of a whack to free up the shaft and get it to engage.

PETER

Uh-huh.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Do that.

PETER

What?

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Hit it.

Peter gives the end of the starter motor a timid whack.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV

Whack her!

Peter gives it a harder whack, and he’s rewarded with a metallic clunk that means success. Mr. Lodkochnikov smiles. Peter scrambles back to the wheelhouse, presses the button, and the engine starts. Ella and Patti cheer.

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EXT. ABOVEDECKS. Mr. Lodkochnikov makes his way through the wheelhouse and seems to be headed for shore.

ELLA
(formally, graciously)
Won’t you accompany us?

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(awkwardly, embarrassed)
Oh, I couldn’t . . . I . . .

ELLA

Please.

PATTI
(enthusiastically)
You can stand in for the customers.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(looking at his callused bayman’s hands)
I’m not very elegant.

ELLA

Tonight . . . you are.

Patti leads him by the hand to a deck chair in the bow.

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EXT. THE BOLOTOMY RIVER. MINUTES LATER. With Mr. Lodkochnikov sitting in the chair drinking champagne, Arcinella glides through the stillness of the evening and its fading light.
Ella and Patti provide attentive service, offering him little sandwiches, pouring champagne into his glass.
At one wonderful moment, Patti and Ella slip into the wheelhouse, and all three stand together in the little cabin, savoring the sweet smell of their coming success.

PATTI

People are going to love this . . .

ELLA

Do you really think so?

PATTI

Oh, yeah. It’s going to blow them up. It’s going to change this town. Everything’s going to be much more elegant from now on.

PETER

Where should we go?

ELLA
(blithely)
Anywhere you like. She’s in your hands.

They return to work.
Peter turns Arcinella toward the west.
The sun sets, and the stars come out, but the glow in the sky silhouettes Mr. Lodkochnikov in his deck chair, where he sits smoking, looking at the stars, the very picture of an elegant excursionist and a satisfied customer.

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EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. LATER. Peter brings her in perfectly.

MR. LODKOCHNIKOV
(heaving a contented sigh)
It has been a lovely excursion . . . the stars . . . the champagne . . . the beautiful ladies . . . the steady hand at the helm . . . everything.

He kisses the hands of Patti and Ella, salutes Peter, and leaves for home. Peter, Ella, and Patti watch him walk away for a moment, then silently turn to cleaning up.

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INFLATING A DOG SCREENPLAY | CONTENTS | CHAPTER 21

Here are a couple of swell ideas from Eric Kraft's vivacious publicist, Candi Lee Manning.

You'll find more swell ideas from Candi Lee here.

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The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.

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