Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 24: Hope Dies (in which the business sinks)
by Eric Kraft
Inflating a Dog on Film

The screen rights are available.
E-mail Alec “Nick” Rafter.

EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. THE NEXT NIGHT. No one at all has come.
PETER
(scanning the sky)
It’s the weather.
Ella and Patti scan the sky.  The weather is not threatening.
PETER (CONT’D.)
(pointing westward)
Those clouds?  People probably figured they might bring rain. 
ELLA
(feebly)
But they didn’t.
PETER
No, but they might have.
PATTI
Most people are very worried about getting their good clothes wet . . .
PETER
. . . and rain is an agent of depression in our culture.
PATTI
(absent-mindedly nibbling a sandwich)
Oh, yeah.  Rain is so deflating.  People say . . . “don’t rain on my parade” . . . “don’t be a wet blanket” . . . “it’s a washout” . . .
They all realize that the last phrase describes this night.
PETER
(inspired, holding his hand out as if to feel the rain, sings)
Trickle, trickle . . .
PATTI
(catching it)
Splash, splash . . .


MUSIC UP: “Trickle, Trickle” by the Videos.  Peter and Patti sing it, trying to keep their hopes up.

CUT TO:

Select-O-Matic Jukebox
THIRTY SECONDS OF
"TRICKLE, TRICKLE"
THE VIDEOS

  EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. THE NEXT NIGHT. A couple walks toward the boat.  They are clamdiggers, with the look of peasants: good, sturdy, honest folk, but not the sort that one would expect to be interested in an elegant excursion.
PETER
(whispering)
Hey.  We might have some customers.
ELLA
(doubtful)
Really?  Do you think . . .
(when they stop)
Good evening. . . . Welcome.
CLAMMY WOMAN
(boarding unaided)
We heard it was restful and romantic. That’s what Caught-yer-cough said.
PETER
You mean Mr. Lodkochnikov?
CLAMMY WOMAN
I never could get that right. . . . He said it’s restful and romantic . . .
CLAMMY MAN
(holding up a paper bag)
. . . but bring your own food, he said, ’cause otherwise you don’t get enough to stuff a guppy.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE BAY. Arcinella glides across the bay in the light of the setting sun.  Ella and Patti are giving the couple the full treatment.  They drink champagne . . .
refuse the offer of caviar . . .
sample the little sandwiches out of politeness . . .
eat the fried chicken they brought . . .
and hold hands in the sunset.
CUT TO:
EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. THE NEXT NIGHT. As departure time nears, the HARBORMASTER chugs up in a launch.
HARBORMASTER
(calling out)
Ahoy, Arcinella.
ELLA
(self-consciously)
Ahoy . . . Harbormaster.
HARBORMASTER
Permission to come aboard?
He boards, looks around.
HARBORMASTER
Nice job you did.  Very nice.
ELLA
Why thank you.  Some champagne?
HARBORMASTER
No, no, I couldn’t do that.
PATTI
How about a sandwich?
The harbormaster considers the plate of sandwiches very carefully, and very carefully selects a pink one.
HARBORMASTER
Happens that I’ve got something for you. . . . You see, Arcinella is still registered to Captain Macamangus . . .
(taking a bite)
Mmmm . . . . and she’ll have to be registered in your name by Wednesday.
He finishes filling out a form on a pad that makes copies, tears one off, and hands it to Ella.
CUT TO:
EXT. A MOMENT LATER. The harbormaster chugs off, waving the sandwich.  Ella, Peter, and Patti huddle over the form. 
PATTI
It’s expensive.
ELLA
Oh, not that expensive.
PETER
More than we’ve brought in so far.
CUT TO:
EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. THE NEXT NIGHT. As sailing time approaches, Peter, Patti, and Ella preen.
ELLA
(anxiously, to Patti)
Do I look all right?
PATTI
Elegant, as always. . . . and me?
ELLA
Stunning.
(to Peter)
Everything ready?
PETER
Oh, sure.  You bet.
ELLA
(anxious)
Saturday night!
She grimaces, then crosses her fingers.
Patti and Ella pace the foredeck in their satin gowns, pretending not to watch for signs of excursionists.
In a while, a single car pulls up. Two young couples with stars in their eyes get out, dressed in prom style.
Ella sighs.  She knows it’s over; it’s a failure.  But she’s going to give these couples a wonderful ride.
ELLA
(extravagantly)
Good evening! How elegant you look!
The four blush and giggle.  Patti brings champagne.
CUT TO:
EXT. BOLOTOMY BAY. The excursionists are happy. Everything seems perfect, but Ella’s eyes show that it isn’t so.
CUT TO:
EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. THE END OF THE EVENING. The two couples are getting into their cars.
COUPLES (AD LIB)
Good-bye. Thank you. It was wonderful. Wonderful. It was elegant.
ELLA
(still upbeat)
It was wonderful having you aboard!
They drive off. Ella and Patti burst into tears.
PETER
(embracing them)
Don’t let it get you down. . . . 
CUT TO:
EXT. ARCINELLA’S STERN. A MOMENT LATER. Ella and Patti sit on either side of Peter; all are dangling their legs in the water. Ella and Patti sniffle and blubber miserably.
PETER
It wasn’t the night we’d been hoping for, but don’t . . . don’t lose heart.
Still sniffling and blubbering.
PETER (CONT’D.)
Come on, chin up!
More tears.
PETER (CONT’D.)
Please stop crying.  We’re going to be a success, a big success.  We just have to make some adjustments.  We’ve got to roll up our sleeves, and . . .
ELLA
(with a twisted smile)
Peter.  You can’t inflate a dead dog.
CUT TO:
INFLATING A DOG SCREENPLAY | CONTENTS | CHAPTER 25

Candi Lee Manning and Alec "Nick" RafterHere are a couple of swell ideas from Eric Kraft's vivacious publicist, Candi Lee Manning.
 

You'll find more swell ideas from Candi Lee here.

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Copyright © 2001 by Eric Kraft
Registered with the Writers Guild of America East in 2001 

The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author. 

The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.

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LITTLE FOLLIES
HERB ’N’ LORNA
RESERVATIONS RECOMMENDED
WHERE DO YOU STOP?
WHAT A PIECE OF WORK I AM
AT HOME WITH THE GLYNNS
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INFLATING A DOG
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