|Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 6: Just Asked (in which Peter wishes that he had a car)
by Eric Kraft
The screen rights are available.
|INT. BABBINGTON HIGH SCHOOL AUDITORIUM.
MID-MORNING. The auditorium is used as a study hall. STUDENTS are
seated toward the front. Peter is behind NICKY and GREASY.
Patti enters late. Everyone watches her walk down the aisle, hand
a forged excuse to MR. CANTRELL, shift her weight from one foot to the
other, canting her hips, idly look around the room to see who might interest
her, and everyone notices the way Peter blushes when she spots him, waves,
Patti pouts. Cantrell melts.Miss Fiorenza, we know what this is.MR. CANTRELL(holding the note like a dirty tissue)
Patti smiles seductively and conspiratorially.But we’ll pretend that we don’t.MR. CANTRELL (CONT’D.)
Peter is shocked, thinking: What? How does he know?Just take a seat and get to work.MR. CANTRELL (CONT’D.)(beginning to perspire)Oh, man, would I like to get into that.GREASY(muttering, to Nicky)Yeah. She’s a great lay.NICKY
He is slandering the piece of ass Peter loves!You made her?GREASYYeah. She’s a terrific piece of ass.NICKY(matter-of-factly)
Peter is beginning to feel a kinship with Greasy.Bullshit.GREASY
Peter thinks: Uh-oh. This is not good. It sounds honest.If you say so.NICKY(he lets a moment pass)I’ll tell you something funny, but you got to promise not to tell anybody.What?GREASYPromise.NICKYOkay.GREASYI swiped a rubber from my father’s bedside table, because I didn’t want to get her in trouble, you know?NICKYYeah.GREASYWell, I never used a rubber before.NICKY
Silence.So I open the package and take it out and it’s a little flat round thing. I’m trying to figure it out, and then I see it’s all rolled up, so I figure I gotta unroll it, which I do. Now I’ve got this long rubber bag that I’m trying to get onto my pecker, and it ain’t easy, let me tell you. When I finally get it on, there’s a bubble in the front, and when I stick my dick into her, it goes “pop.”NICKY (CONT’D.)No shit.GREASYI told my uncle what happened, and I thought he was gonna bust a gut. He tells me you’re supposed to put the thing onto your prick and roll it down. You don’t unroll it first.NICKYOh, sure. You didn’t know that?GREASYNo. I didn’t. I already told you.NICKY
Peter and Greasy are both thinking: Just asked?How did you get her to let you do it?GREASY(convinced now)Just asked.NICKY
Peter bends over his notebook.What did you say, exactly?GREASY
Peter thinks: Damn. You have to have a car.“You want to get into the back seat?”NICKY
Peter is not convinced, doesn’t want to be convinced.Yeah? . . . and . . . ?GREASYAnd what? We got into the back seat.NICKYYou didn’t say anything else?GREASYNo. She knew what I meant.NICKYYeah.GREASY
CUT TO:EXT. BABBINGTON HIGH. AFTERNOON. School is out. Young scholars flee the building, Peter and Patti among them.
A car full of louts passes, calling out “Sluhhhht!” to Patti and “Pinko highbrow intellectual bastard!” to Peter.Pete! Peter!PATTIHey, Patti.PETERWalk me home, okay? My mother loves it when you walk me home. She always has.PATTI(catching up to him, handing him her books, putting her arm through his)
Come on . . . we can stop and get a soda.PATTI(used to ignoring that sort of thing)Sure. Let’s go.PETER(as a longtime friend)
CUT TO:EXT. THE MALT SHOP AT BOLOTOMY AND MAIN. Peter and Patti come along arm in arm. Patti stops to check their reflection in the window. She smooths her clothes and hair, and she straightens Peter up a little, too.
Peter looks at his reflection, his corduroy pants and checked shirt, and doesn’t like what he sees.There. You look nice.PATTI
Patti gives him a poke and drags him into the shop.Nice. A nice harmless little boy.PETER
Here are a couple of swell ideas from Eric Kraft's vivacious publicist, Candi Lee Manning.
You'll find more swell ideas from Candi Lee here.
Tip the author.
You can toss a little something Kraft's way through the Amazon.com Honor System or PayPal.
Copyright © 2001 by Eric
The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.
Add yourself to our e-mailing list.
We'll send you notifications of site updates, new serials, and Eric Kraft's public lectures and readings. Just fill in this form and click the send-it button.