|Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 7: Everybody Needs a Friend (in which Patti says, ďanything you want, just askĒ)
by Eric Kraft
The screen rights are available.
|INT. THE MALT SHOP. The malt shop
has been around for generations, but its glory days passed long ago.
Peter looks around. The shop is still, hushed, and almost empty except for the two of them and the leering soda jerk.This is really inflated, coming here.PETER(using a local slang term)Yeah.PATTINone of the other kids would come here.PETERThatís why we come here, isnít it?PATTIYou mean so nobody sees you with me?PETERNo .†.†. I mean so I can have you to myself.PATTI(that provocative pout)Your little friend.PETEREverybody needs a friend.PATTI(sweet and honest)
She tilts her head and raises her eyebrows. Peter would agree with anything she said.You know, my mother used to come here.PETERDid she?PATTIAll the kids did. Thatís what she says. It was a date.PETERIt was?PATTIUnder the right circumstances.PETERYour mother told you that?PATTIYeah.PETER(distractedly)Is something bothering you?PATTIYeah. Something.PETERWhat?PATTISomething .†.†. personal.PETERTell me.PATTI(touching his arm)Iíve been wondering whether my mother .†.†. my mother .†.†. and boys .†.†.PETER(wringing his hands)Oh. That. Itís a shock, isnít it?PATTIA shock?PETER(thinking: Does she know something?)When you first think about your mother .†.†. and boys. Itís a shock, right?PATTI
She leans toward Peter and gives him both the knowing wink and the provocative pout. The soda jerk drops a glass.It sure is. Itís a shock.PETERJust think about what you want from me.PATTI(giggles)What? I .†.†.PETER
An idea comes to Peter so suddenly that he announces its arrival as if heís won a prize.Just think about what you want to do with me.PATTIUh-huh.PETER(doing precisely that)Now think about your mother sitting right here where Iím sitting, and some boy sitting right where youíre sitting, and that boy wanting to do with your mother what you want to do with me.PATTIHuh.PETER(stunned, startled)And maybe he did.PATTI
Iíve got an idea!PETERYeah, Iíll bet you do.PATTIIím going to take a trip into the past.PETER(like a mad scientist)Youíve got a time machine?PATTINo. An imaginary trip, like a play .†.†. or a thought experiment in science. I want to see what I can find out about whether .†.†. if .†.†. if my father .†.†. might not be my father.PETER(modestly, as if he might)So thatís what this is all about.PATTICome with me .†.†. and play my mother.PETERYour mother? Who are you going to play?PATTIDudley Beaker, who might be my fatherPETERYou are a little pervert!PATTIWill you do it?PETERSure. Weíre friends. Anything you want .†.†. just ask.PATTI(winking the knowing wink)
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Copyright © 2001 by Eric
The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the authorís imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesnít particularly resemble Peter Leroyóexcept, perhaps, for the smile.
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