Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 17: To Bail Is to Inflate (in which Patti learns the awful truth)
by Eric Kraft
Inflating a Dog on Film

The screen rights are available.
E-mail Alec “Nick” Rafter.

EXT. ABOARD ARCINELLA. THE NEXT FEW DAYS. Peter is tired and glum, but Ella and Patti are full of energy and hope.
They go over Arcinella, topside, from stem to stern, fixing her up, making her look elegant.
Now and then they burst into song to let off steam.
They paint her gleaming black and shining white.
While they are working abovedecks, Peter works below.
He swabs and scrubs.  He cleans Arcinella’s engine as thoroughly as he can, as if that would do any good.
From time to time he brings an armload of something damp and dirty up from Arcinella’s innards.  Patti and Ella wince at the sight of it and shrink away from it.
Surreptitiously, he bails the bilge. He bails into his cleaning bucket, and then throws the sudsy water overboard.
On a forward corner of the cabin, Patti and Ella nail a long pole, black, and from the top they fly a satin pennant, white, with EEE embroidered on it in black satin script.
Finally, they all stand onshore admiring Arcinella.  She looks neat and elegant, trim and sound.  Her pennant flutters in the stiffening breeze, straightens, and displays the initials EEE.
PETER
Eee?
PATTI
Ella’s Elegant Excursions, of course.
PETER
Eeeee.
CUT TO:
INT. THE LEROY FAMILY KITCHEN AND DINING ROOM. THE NIGHT BEFORE THE SHAKEDOWN CRUISE. Peter and Ella are nervous. Bert eats his meatloaf without a worry in the world.
PETER
May I be excused?
BERT
(looks at Peter’s plate)
You haven’t finished.
ELLA
He’s too nervous to eat.  So am I.
BERT
(what a wit)
Shakin’ in your shoes over the shakedown cruise?
PETER
Something like that.  I thought I’d see if I can get into a handball game.
ELLA
Go ahead, Peter.
Peter gets up from the table, and Bert spears the meatloaf he’s left on his plate.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE LEROY BACK DOOR. Peter dashes out the door.  At the first pay phone he dials Patti’s number.  His hand is shaking, his heart is pounding, and his throat is dry.
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
Hello?
PETER
(a tremor in his voice)
P-Patti?
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
Peter?  What’s wrong?  You sound upset.
PETER
I am.  Can you meet me tonight, late?
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
Sure.  At Dudley’s?
PETER
No.  I’ll wait outside your house.
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
Very mysterious.  What’s this about?
PETER
It’s about Arcinella.
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
Arcinella?
PETER
Yeah.  She’s . . .
PATTI (FROM THE PHONE)
She’s what?
PETER
She’s . . . I’ll tell you tonight.
CUT TO:
EXT. THE ROAD IN FRONT OF PATTI’S HOUSE. MIDNIGHT.  The front door opens and Patti slips out, closes it carefully, and hurries to Peter’s side.  They start walking.
PATTI
So, what is it about Arcinella?
PETER
How far did I get on the phone?
PATTI
You said “She’s . . . ”
PETER
She’s . . . um . . . 
PATTI
Sophisticated.
PETER
Sophisticated?
PATTI
Yeah, now that she’s all dressed up and elegant, ready for a night on the town.
PETER
Oh.  Right.  But . . . um . . . what about beneath the surface?
PATTI
Hm?
PETER
What about . . . well . . . her soul?
PATTI
Her soul?  Do boats have souls?
PETER
Well . . . while I was working inside Arcinella, down in the hold, I felt that she was a soulful thing, a thing with a spirit, like something alive.  We . . . we fixed her up . . . put a good face on her, so she looks as if she’s ready to go to a party, but the buoyancy’s escaping from her soul, and it’s being replaced by something else . . . so I’ve been trying to inflate her soul.
PATTI
What?
PETER
I’ve been coming down here every night and inflating her.
PATTI
Inflating her?
PETER
Yes.  You know, bailing.
PATTI
Huh?
PETER
A lot of people think only of the negative aspect of bailing — removing water.  But I don’t look at it that way.
PATTI
You don’t?
PETER
No.  You see, bailing is an inflationary process; when we remove water from a bilge, we are simultaneously drawing air into the bilge.
PATTI
I don’t really get . . .
PETER
Nature, as you know, abhors a vacuum.  So, when I evacuate the water from a bilge, I’ve made a space for Nature to fill, and she does fill it . . . with air. She blows the boat up.
PATTI
(hands on her hips)
What the heck are you getting at?
PETER
She’s sinking.
CUT TO:
INFLATING A DOG SCREENPLAY | CONTENTS | CHAPTER 19

Candi Lee Manning and Alec "Nick" RafterHere are a couple of swell ideas from Eric Kraft's vivacious publicist, Candi Lee Manning.
 

You'll find more swell ideas from Candi Lee here.

 
Tip the author.
You can toss a little something Kraft's way through the Amazon.com Honor System or PayPal.
Amazon.com Honor System


Copyright © 2001 by Eric Kraft
Registered with the Writers Guild of America East in 2001 

The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author. 

The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.

 
Add yourself to our e-mailing list.
We'll send you notifications of site updates, new serials, and Eric Kraft's public lectures and readings. Just fill in this form and click the send-it button.
NAME

E-MAIL


ABOUT THE PERSONAL HISTORY
COMPONENTS OF THE WORK
REVIEWS OF THE ENTIRE WORK
AUTHOR’S STATEMENT

LITTLE FOLLIES
HERB ’N’ LORNA
RESERVATIONS RECOMMENDED
WHERE DO YOU STOP?
WHAT A PIECE OF WORK I AM
AT HOME WITH THE GLYNNS
LEAVING SMALL’S HOTEL
INFLATING A DOG
PASSIONATE SPECTATOR
MAKING MY SELF
A TOPICAL GUIDE

CLASSIFIEDS
SWELL IDEAS

COMPLETE SITE CONTENTS
WHAT'S NEW?

Home Page

HOME