|Inflating a Dog Screenplay
Chapter 28: Mr. Yummy (in which chance delivers a gift)
by Eric Kraft
The screen rights are available.
|EXT. ARCINELLA’S SLIP. The crew is
closing up at the end of the season. There’s a chill in the air.
A bakery delivery truck pulls up. On the side is the slogan “Here comes something yummy!” The deliveryman gets out and stands on the bulkhead for a moment, watching Patti and Peter, and then he clears his throat and asks . . .We could feel the end of summer coming. School would be starting soon. The season was over. We began preparing Arcinella for the winter . . .ADULT PETER (V. O.)She’s sinking faster than ever.PETER(secretly, to Patti)Is there anything you can do?PATTII don’t think so. While she’s sitting here . . . and we’re in school . . . she’s going to sink.PETER(hopelessly)Then chance dropped a gift in our laps.ADULT PETER (V. O.)
The smallest of grins forms on Peter’s face.What are you doing?MR. YUMMYGetting her ready for the winter.PETER(recognizing a sucker)Oh.MR. YUMMY(trying to sound only mildly interested)Any boats like this for sale?
RESUME.“Any boats like this for sale?” . . . You may think that I said to him . . .ADULT PETER (V. O.)
FREEZE FRAME.Oh, sir, you wouldn’t want a boat like this, because this boat is sinking.PETER(frankly)
RESUME.. . . but I didn’t.ADULT PETER (V. O.)
Mr. Yummy raises his eyebrows and nods in Patti’s direction. Patti has folded her arms and is stamping her little foot like Olive Oyl in an old Popeye cartoon.Well . . . first of all . . . there aren’t any boats like this.PETER(chuckling indulgently)Huh?MR. YUMMYI suppose one clam boat looks pretty much like another . . . but this boat is special.PETEROh, yeah, sure. I didn’t mean . . .MR. YUMMY(not wanting to offend)After owning Arcinella, I couldn’t even imagine owning another boat.PETERShe’s something all right.MR. YUMMYI just wish I could keep her.PETER(with a sigh)You can’t keep her?MR. YUMMY(hopeful)Well . . . my girlfriend thinks I spend too much time with the boat and not enough with her.PETERI said to him, I said, “Pete, you gotta choose. It’s that boat or me.”PATTI(picking up on it)Hey, if I was you I’d sell the boat.MR. YUMMY(gives Peter a wink)I . . . I . . . I just can’t.PETERWhy not?MR. YUMMYShe just means too much to me.PETER(gives Arcinella a look)Isn’t she a beauty? If she were yours, would you sell her?In your position . . .MR. YUMMYHuh?PETER(faking ignorance)
SOUND DOWN while Peter and Patti debate the her-or-me issue.Oh. I see what you mean.PETER (CONT’D.)(to Patti, pleading)Do I really have to sell her?I already told ya. It’s her or me.PATTI(almost overplaying it)
Peter finally gives in and begins negotiating with Mr. Yummy, eventually coming to a handshake on the deal.I knew we had him. All we had to do was reel him in, the way Captain Macomangus reeled us in, and we did.ADULT PETER (V. O.)
That is not what Peter had hoped to hear.Of course, you’ll somebody who really knows boats to look her over . . . unless you really know boats yourself.PETERMe? All I know is bread and muffins! But I’ve got a couple of partners, and one of them really does know boats.MR. YUMMY
CUT TO:EXT. A STREET IN BABBINGTON. Patti and Peter are walking to Peter’s house.
All I have to do now is persuade my mother to abandon the one success she’s had in her life.PETERLet me do it.PATTII should be the one. She’s my mother.PETERShe’s my friend. Let me do it.PATTIOkay. You do it.PETER
CUT TO:INT. THE LEROY KITCHEN. Patti and Peter enter through the back door.
As it turned out, neither of us had to do it . . .ADULT PETER (V. O.)Peter! Patti! I’ve had the most wonderful idea . . .ELLA(singing out)(showing them dozens of sketches of bouffant hairdos)Ella’s Moderne Stylizing! What do you think?What about . . . Ella’s Lunch Launch?PETEROh, that. . . . I don’t know. . . . It was a great summer, it really was, but is next year going to be as good? . . . Back and forth on the bay, every single day, day in and day out, day after day, seven days a week? This summer it was an adventure, but next summer it might be just a job. You know what I mean? I was thinking maybe we could sell the boat . . .ELLA
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Copyright © 2001 by Eric
The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.
The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.
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