ADULT PETER (V. O.)

We could feel the end of summer coming.  School would be starting soon.  The season was over.  We began preparing Arcinella for the winter . . .

PETER

(secretly, to Patti)

She’s sinking faster than ever.

PATTI

Is there anything you can do?

PETER

(hopelessly)

I don’t think so.  While she’s sitting here . . . and we’re in school . . . she’s going to sink.

ADULT PETER (V. O.)

Then chance dropped a gift in our laps.

MR. YUMMY

What are you doing?

PETER

(recognizing a sucker)

Getting her ready for the winter.

MR. YUMMY

Oh.

(trying to sound only mildly interested)

Any boats like this for sale?

ADULT PETER (V. O.)

“Any boats like this for sale?” . . . You may think that I said to him . . .

PETER

(frankly)

Oh, sir, you wouldn’t want a boat like this, because this boat is sinking.

ADULT PETER (V. O.)

. . . but I didn’t.

PETER

(chuckling indulgently)

Well . . . first of all . . . there aren’t any boats like this.

MR. YUMMY

Huh?

PETER

I suppose one clam boat looks pretty much like another . . . but this boat is special.

MR. YUMMY

(not wanting to offend)

Oh, yeah, sure.  I didn’t mean . . .

PETER

After owning Arcinella, I couldn’t even imagine owning another boat.

MR. YUMMY

She’s something all right.

PETER

(with a sigh)

I just wish I could keep her.

MR. YUMMY

(hopeful)

You can’t keep her?

PETER

Well . . . my girlfriend thinks I spend too much time with the boat and not enough with her.

PATTI

(picking up on it)

I said to him, I said, “Pete, you gotta choose.  It’s that boat or me.”

MR. YUMMY

(gives Peter a wink)

Hey, if I was you I’d sell the boat.

PETER

I . . . I . . . I just can’t.

MR. YUMMY

Why not?

PETER

She just means too much to me.

(gives Arcinella a look)

Isn’t she a beauty?  If she were yours, would you sell her?

MR. YUMMY

In your position . . .

PETER

(faking ignorance)

Huh?

PETER (CONT’D.)

Oh.  I see what you mean.

(to Patti, pleading)

Do I really have to sell her?

PATTI

(almost overplaying it)

I already told ya.  It’s her or me.

ADULT PETER (V. O.)

I knew we had him.  All we had to do was reel him in, the way Captain Macomangus reeled us in, and we did.

PETER

Of course, you’ll somebody who really knows boats to look her over . . . unless you really know boats yourself.

MR. YUMMY

Me?  All I know is bread and muffins!  But I’ve got a couple of partners, and one of them really does know boats.

PETER

All I have to do now is persuade my mother to abandon the one success she’s had in her life.

PATTI

Let me do it.

PETER

I should be the one.  She’s my mother.

PATTI

She’s my friend.  Let me do it.

PETER

Okay.  You do it.

ADULT PETER (V. O.)

As it turned out, neither of us had to do it . . .

ELLA

(singing out)

Peter! Patti! I’ve had the most wonderful idea . . .

(showing them dozens of sketches of bouffant hairdos)

Ella’s Moderne Stylizing!  What do you think?

PETER

What about . . . Ella’s Lunch Launch?

ELLA

Oh, that. . . . I don’t know. . . . It was a great summer, it really was, but is next year going to be as good? . . . Back and forth on the bay, every single day, day in and day out, day after day, seven days a week?  This summer it was an adventure, but next summer it might be just a job.  You know what I mean?  I was thinking maybe we could sell the boat . . .

You'll find more swell ideas from Candi Lee here.

Copyright © 2001 by Eric Kraft
Registered with the Writers Guild of America East in 2001 

The screenplay for Inflating a Dog is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, dialogues, settings, and businesses portrayed in it are products of the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

All rights reserved. No part of this teleplay may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author. 

The illustration at the top of the page is an adaptation of an illustration by Stewart Rouse that first appeared on the cover of the August 1931 issue of Modern Mechanics and Inventions. The boy at the controls of the aerocycle doesn’t particularly resemble Peter Leroy—except, perhaps, for the smile.